I also helped my parents. He paid for part of his insurance, some medications, the repair of my dad’s truck, my mom’s supermarket card. When Veronica got married, I paid for almost the entire party because I didn’t want her to start her life feeling less than anyone else. For years I was the strong daughter, the useful sister, the one who resolved without asking for applause.
The Saturday that split my life in two, Joaquín took Mateo fishing in Lake Chapala. They left at 8 in the morning, laughing because Mateo had more food than hooks. I said goodbye to them from the door, with a calm feeling in my chest. At 6 they should have been back. At 7 I called Joaquín and he went to the mailbox. At 8 I started walking around the room.
At 8:47 they knocked on the door.
Two police officers were outside. As soon as I saw their faces, my body understood before my mind.
—Are you Angélica Herrera?
I don’t remember answering. I remember the uniform, the smell of my own kitchen, the table set for three. They told me that a drunk driver had run a stop sign and hit Joaquín’s truck on the driver’s side.
—Just tell me if they’re alive —I whispered.
The officer looked down.
—Her husband died at the scene. His son is alive, but is in surgery. His condition is critical.
The world was not broken by noise. It went out.
At the hospital, Dr. Medrano explained words to me that no mother should learn: severe head trauma, induced coma, brain inflammation. Mateo seemed smaller than ever, connected to machines, with a swollen face and a bandaged head. I took his hand and promised him I wouldn’t leave him.
I called my parents that morning. My mom cried a little and said they were going. They arrived the next day, stayed for an hour, asked the basics and left. When I asked them for help preparing Joaquín’s funeral, my mother sighed as if I had asked for an awkward favor.
—Daughter, this week we will help Verónica and Rubén to settle better in the apartment. We already committed.
—Mom, Joaquín just died.
—I know, but you are strong.
So I buried my husband almost alone. Solana, my best friend, was with me. Joaquín’s classmates really cried. My parents, Verónica and Rubén, arrived late, sat in the back and left quickly.
Mateo remained in a coma for 6 months. I read to him, I talked to him about baseball, I told him that his dad would be proud. My family visited him three times, always in a hurry.
And one morning in July, Dr. Medrano called me.
—Mrs. Herrera, I need you to come to the hospital immediately.
When I saw his face in the hallway, I knew my last reason to keep breathing the same was gone too.
Mateo had died an hour earlier.
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